I don’t want to suffocate you with my love but how do I hold back the tides when your gravity is so strong?
So maybe at first you both deny the possible future the both of you can create. You can’t help but to think that this is the first time you’ve been this happy but sure that it will never be love. You try your best to stifle your feelings and agree to take things slow, but too sure enough feelings were caught and feelings were told.
At two you realised you can’t live without them, the air you breathe in their absence is a cold and icy stale. Some days he’s there, some days he is not. You wonder if he feels the same way towards you. You can’t help but to have second thoughts.
At three, with every lingering stare, with every brush of your lips against his, you swore those three words almost slipped. You realised; you’re almost convinced, he is the one for you. With every bittersweet ‘I like you’ he whispers, a flower dies in the icy cold whilst another flower grows in the springs of your heart. How can you grow gardens when flowers can’t grow in the winter? With your chest tightening around your lungs, you managed to breathe an ‘I like you too’.
At four you wonder how long he is going to take. How could a four-letter word drive you so insane? You patiently wait, a constant battle between yourself through night and day.
At five, he pulls you close into his embrace, he finally said it. Those words slipped. Your heart stops, your mind race. You can’t help but to replay it over again just in case it was a mistake. You attempt to catch a hold of your breath but he was too quick to steal it away. Like the final piece of a puzzle, our hearts and souls merged and tessellate. Cracks in my heart bloomed and reaped with flowers. Finally, a garden of my own that no one can ever take.
Listening closely to the drums of your heartbeat
I drown all my senses
in hope to hear if the soul sings what the mind can’t speak
Maybe I always think in poetry and rhymes because of the way the words are structured in a loop
A loop that confirms completion and maybe it is my way of expressing how I feel when I am with you
The highs never last;
sometimes you need clouds of darkness to encompass
just to remind you that light exists
the one where his eyes glimmer
while the faint wrinkles on the side starts to crease
the one where it feels like I’m returning home to lands of evergreen
The one where I wreck myself time and time again
because I know I’d lose all of myself if I were to let him go
The one that frustrates me to know how a smile so perfect will never be seen by him
like how a butterfly will never see its wings
the one that is accompanied by a hearty laugh so full that it fills your heart of stings
So this is the smile I’d love to create for all days that I am with you
perhaps maybe, eternity
the one and ever only.
Your ocean eyes; enticing yet engulfing me
trapping my soul in your waters with each lingering stare
And you wonder why I find it hard to gaze into your eyes for long
when baby you’re drowning me whilst I’m still learning how to breathe
Without breathing a word
just the sound of your heart
or the sound of your laugh
is a library of novels to me
They say that your first love will be the one ever so dreamy and the one you fell ever so hard for because your heart is so clean, so untainted and so untarnished. The second time you fall in love would be one so real and so unexpected in every way; perhaps completely different from the first you’ve ever fallen for simply from the way they speak, how their eyes glimmer or how their kisses softly land on your cheek.
But no one brings out the ultimate best in me like you do. You paint colours on empty canvasses even though sometimes you don’t see the colours yourself. Your precious whispers dropped ever so gracefully into my ear like a wishing well, never to catch the light again. All of your imperfections and flaws, I embrace with every kiss I steal and every breath I inhale.
God. Stringing words and phrases together is almost impossible when the only thing I can think of right now is the warmth and the swirls of your chestnut eyes, the tenderness of your voice.
Continue watering the gardens that bloom from the cracks of my heart and I’ll give you a lifetime of flowers.
Inbetween the calm and the chaos of heartbeats and blossoming melodies, you have stolen my heart and I never want it back.
In between your arms
In between your tender kisses
and your soft whispers
In between the warmth of your embrace,
the scent of your neck you always wear that smells like dreams, lavenders and Sundays
In between the fierceness of your touch,
the cracks in between your heart
I think I may have found my place