The last, but not the end.

So it is the final chapter of the year. This shall be the last of 2016, but it won’t be the end.

It’s funny how you start a year with someone and by the end, they have become complete strangers.

God, 2016. You have been one hell of a journey. I remember at the start, dreading each and every obstacle that laid ahead of me; the final year project, the final exams, unsure if I had the capabilities of even graduating and having had to transition from one country to another for University. And of course not forgetting, the fear of losing you.

In the midst of calm and chaos, I finally learnt that what’s yours will always be yours. I have finally learnt to let go. Somewhere last year – between the smiles and the changes, we somehow knew we would lose each other way too soon. A year later, I’m here without you. The sun still sets and the sun still rises, my heart grew lighter and I laugh a little louder.

So dear 2017 me,

You are still a blank slate, a collection of days that hasn’t been trodden yet, so let’s make it right this time now, shall we?

Learn to cherish each moment more. Breathe. Look around you. Appreciate, and appreciate, and appreciate. It is okay to let yourself down once in a while. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You may stumble and fall along the way, but that’s alright too. It is okay to lean on someone when you can’t hold yourself up any longer. Open up, learn to know that it’s okay not to be okay. Trust more, love more. Remember that darkness only exists because light exists.

And please, please remember that I am here for you. Your past selves. Look how far we have come; all of us, an amalgam and a beautiful accumulation of scars and bruises. Years and experiences of joy, sorrow, heartbreaks and ‘I don’t want to live another tomorrow’. Here you are today, in 2017, stronger and better than ever. Take risks, take flight. Things may crumble but you pick up the pieces and you rebuild something even greater.

Those little fragments are there afloat, to hover motionless just for a moment for you to pick. Particles racing through the cosmos, dust in between your fingertips. You may not have control of everything, but if you just stretch a little, things may just be within your reach.

I warn you, do not be afraid to hold onto something that you have longed for. Things may not pave the way you initiated but do not lose sight of hope. Love freely and love recklessly. You were made to love and love starts with you. Open up your heart again. Tear down your walls. But don’t forget to only accept what you truly deserve, and leave the rest. There will be times where you will be a mess, but there will always be someone that will untie those knots for you, unravel you and embrace every one of those imperfections.

Imperfections. Flaws. You know no one’s perfect. And stop picking on those scars. They make you who you are and love every one of them and their every indent. Always remember, you’re not perfect, but you will always be the perfect specimen of yourself.

Don’t forget to continue spreading love and happiness as well. The world is always much better with warmer hearts and less teary eyes. And don’t forget to keep writing. Express your thoughts that profuse and pulsate in your veins and make your heart undulate.

And this boy.  A diamond in the rough, a gem unrecovered. Grow together, love together and rule the universe together. He touches you in places you felt so numb you never thought you’d feel again. A fire ignited that warms your skin instead of burning you. A fire that warms the cold harsh winter in your chest. Don’t let this one slip through your fingers. This one sees you. This one helps you blossom instead of planting each of your seeds.

With that, here I leave you onboard an exciting journey of the unknown once again. Leave the aftermath, take on a new beginning. And, don’t forget to keep the fire burning.

With love,

2016 me.


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