Chapter 2012: Page 50/366

Feeling helpless and hopeless as chaos swirls.”

Term 1 Week 8 is starting tomorrow and I feel so drained. 4 days in a row have I been abruptly crying to myself. I can’t take this anymore. It’s just too much for me to handle. There use to be someone for me 24/7 when I was going through the tough times. Whereas now, there’s rarely anyone. I keep everything to myself. All the anger, sadness, fury, depression that builds up everyday are kept bottled up. There will be a time soon where I’ll collapse under the huge burden and pressure.

Among the smiles and laughter that I mask myself with everyday, there is always a depth of sadness hidden deep behind. I remember the times where I could talk to someone everyday about my problems and s(he)  would cheer me up regardless. S(he) would tell me that everything would be okay, and that nothing can hurt me because s(he) is there. Now, all that has changed. I’m on my own with no one to turn to. I know the Lord is there, and through the tough and horrid times (as well as the good), He’s always guiding me.

Praying to the Lord, that He’ll give me strength to get through another hectic week of Secondary 4.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

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