I came across this quote whilst scrolling down Tumblr. I think this quote is absolutely beautiful, and I am determined to turn these words into action.
I thank the Lord for this beautiful day today. It started out a little rough and a little sleepy, but I got through it. Somehow, I got another little wake-up call today during Chemistry lesson. The teacher started going through chapters and questions as if O levels was due to come next week. I started to get very nervous and pressurized. Thank Almighty God that there is still 281 Days left to O Levels. However, “281′ is just a number and no matter how many days there are left to O’s; especially at this period of time, I should never tell myself “There’s still time. Nevermind can slack”. There is never too early to start studying, but there will always be a ‘too late’.
I felt pretty productive in school today (except for earlier this morning during Biology). I decided to stay back to finish up my homework and revise for the upcoming tests left for this week. I did so partly because I did not want to go home, but also more towards that there is no ‘bed’ for me to be distracted with. If I were to go home to do my work instead, I’ll drop dead once I have reached and I start to snooze, neglecting my academics. No kidding. There is this melancholy aura at home that makes everyone’s feeling dull, moody and lethargic. Honestly, I feel there is no spark of joy or happiness in this living turmoil.
I’d describe this place as a ‘living turmoil’ because of it’s lack of understanding; the misconceptions and it’s misunderstandings. It’s frustrating having to put up with so much accusations and pointing fingers whenever you try to have a casual conversation. No, incorrect. Even if you’re not having a conversation and just keeping your mouth shut, accusations and pointing fingers happen even so. She calls me ‘that person’ now. Oh well, it’s a mutual feeling. I don’t regard her as who she is suppose to be anymore. I can truthfully say that she is of no use to me. Really, she has no purpose that will benefit me. The only duty she has really is to serve my little brother, and perhaps maybe a little towards Dad but that’s about it.
I try not to talk to her or look at her as much as possible. Take for example: If I have to stay back in school for anything out of my schedule, I’ll have to inform either Dad or her. Today, I stayed back in school to finish up my work and obviously, I had to inform her in case Dad was out of town. I didn’t want to make any form of communications with her. So what did I did was I told Annabelle to text her instead. I hope she acknowledges the fact that I really do not give a damn about her. To me, she doesn’t exist. I can’t recall regarding her with the word ‘Mum’ or ‘Mother’ in a long time. Simply because I do not have one. She is welcome to say she only has 2 children. I have been used to these kind of insults for a long time.
Talking about Annabelle, I have been told 3 times today that her and I have seemed to become closer. Yes, we have become closer. It is actually a privileged to be able to rant and complain to someone at home whom shares the same feelings with you about the exact same person. It’s pretty cool I must say, and at times, Annabelle’s response is pretty entertaining. Not because of her malicious, constant swearing but the style and flow of her words come out as a very entertaining speech. I’d say she has grown tremendously over these months; yes maturely and horizontally. Hi Belle I know you’re reading this. I’m just kidding:) Vertically*, I meant. My goodness, she’s towering over me like some giraffe and it’s just so annoying. Bleurgh. I’ve stopped growing and she’s still stacking up the heights whenever she eats and sleeps. Nevertheless, I consider her height and buff-ness as a great advantage; she can act as my personal bodyguard. Thanks Belle:)
I remember how I used to despise and hate having a sister; especially one that goes to the same school as me since Primary 1. However, that has all changed now that we’re teenagers. I am superbly glad that I can count on her whenever I need a listening ear or help in academics, as well as company.
Cheers BelleBelle, for being an awesome bodyguard, emotion consultant and also, an academics guide (sometimes). You can be a pest occasionlly, but the times we rant, complain or simply talk, seriously can crack me up real bad. Your sense of humour and sarcasm are unique; I have never come across anyone like you. Cheers for being my little sis.
Love from your big sis.
Ps. Well done for growing up so well, I have not a clue what you feed the tummy of yours. But do stop growing now and steal me more food into my room more often. Thanks.
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me….And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11&13