Fighting the Emotions

<emIt's been hard It’s been hard, especially this holiday loving in this house; not knowing what the next second, minute or hour will hold. Having this thought in mind really gives me a shudder.

For example, just a minute ago I thought I was going to get busted if Mum found out I’ve been awake all along and using my phone. I agree, I should be sleeping. However other times when I’m not, I’m not allowed to have it in my room let alone use it. There are so many restrictions. We don’t even have access to internet on our computers, we are rarely allowed to go out and we have to study, all the time.

The last time I recalled, this is a holiday. Yes, I admit I have to catch up on my work as well as prepare for next year. However, I

    cannot

study when I’m forced to. I’ll just stone for hours with nothing sunk into my head.

Argh. It gets me so annoyed whenever Mum says study. Yes I’m studying and no Mum I’m not relaxing. She keeps lingering on to the past and keeps referring to it, as if I don’t hear it enough. I hear it everyday; e v e r y d a y. Every minute too. If I’m lucky, once every hour. It has crossed the range of it being a nag. It has become a bicker; something that goes on and on, talking and ranting about the same thing all over again and again.

I cannot stress enough on how my ears will pop and fall off soon if this goes on for any longer; yes, it’s that bad It’s undeniably a chore and a skill, I believe, how we all manage to withstand this excruciating torture.

It must be an amazing talent for Mum too, how she’s able to keep this up for so many years. Outstanding. Let’s just hope that I won’t miss it few years down the road. #ironyinlife

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