“There are things we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”
Tomorrow will be the last official day of school for 2011, as well as the last day of Secondary 3. I have to admit that at the very first day of this year, 2011, I could not wait for this year to end. Reason was because it started out so bad. It was so bad that even before school started, I actually ran away from home; twice, to escape from all the madness that was occurring constantly throughout the weeks. It was a nightmare; it was hell. I literally wanted to die.
When school started, it wasn’t at all that good. It was a new environment with unfamiliar faces in class. My fingers were crossed, hoping that 2011 would be a good year for me. Things happened at such a fast pace and events flashed by. It was all a blur. Sec 3 life was at such a fast pace that it overwhelmed me.
I remember last year, 2010. It was MY year. Everything happened accordingly to how I have planned it to go. It was good; events and happenings all went well. It was like living in a dream.
2010 was a year without my mother and my brother. I lived with just only my father and sister; whom both I seldom talked to when we were all at home. I had a lot of freedom; too much of it I’d say. No doubt I took advantage of it. Every week, I met you at least once; did stupid and reckless things. It was all good fun. Time went pass so quickly and memories were kept. Until our family was reunited, we had the time of our lives. Little did I know that all would end when things came into light.
All went well until after Mid-Years. I scored surprisingly well for Mid-Years and parents were contented. I was contented. It wasn’t until then where things between us started to deteriorate. We started to have different views on the future from what we have discussed last year and since then, you weren’t the one I confide everything into anymore.
You weren’t the only cause of my misery of 2011. She, was the one I received heartache from the most. Although you were the one that was closest to me, she went through all the hard times and was there for me constantly through days, weeks and months. We did many stupid things in school, got into trouble together, punished by the teachers together, disrupted lessons in class together; we were practically the heart and source of light in class. We were both very well known; to Crescentians and to teachers, for our rebellious and immature behaviours.
However, that all changed. It all changed when academics decided to get the better of us and all of us needed to be serious in our studies. You didn’t change. You thought all was a joke. You constantly failed. Failed so miserably and scored so badly. You didn’t put a single drop of effort at all and you kept replacing me with this junior b*tch of yours. Do you think life’s all a joke? What are you living for? My words were never sunk into that brainless head of yours.
I never meant anything to you after all. Those cold and heartless words you said to me on one miserable day of July still lingers somewhere at the back of my mind; afraid to even think about it at certain times. You’re so blunt when it comes to words; you never think, do you? Your words just shoots out from your mouth; swear words and insults. Nothing intelligent. That was when I decided to leave you. We ‘broke up’. I realized that I would be wasting my life and efforts if I continued staying by your side, despite the fact that you blatantly neglect my words of care and encouragement to you.
No, I didn’t give up on you. Yes, I still care about you. I just had enough. I gave you the final chance and you were fully aware that if you turned your back against the words you promised, it was the end of us. And guess what, you did. You broke all 10 promises in 3 days. I congratulate you, for being the one that have let me down the most and broken the most promises in a span of less than a week.
Things didn’t go so smoothly on the other side either. I had arguments with you endlessly and you weren’t of any help. In a matter of weeks, we broke up. That was the end of all ties I had with my closest ones. I now no longer have any bestfriends. The both of you were my ultimate bestfriends and when it came to decisions regarding the both of you, honestly, it was a dilemma to me all the time. It was just so hard to choose between the both of you. Yes, the both of you meant that much to me.
Time has moved on, and I don’t talk to either of you anymore. It’s hard to treat the both of you; especially her considering I see you everyday, as invisible and non-existent when you guys were once my life, and my everything.
This is why I can’t wait for this year to end. This year has been a bad year. Too many memories and bad events hold the innocent dates of every month. I want to move on, I want a fresh start and finally, I want a new me.
I do thank the both of you though, for giving such a memorable time last year. It was an honour to have had two such great people in my life. However, time change, people change, and feelings change. I can safely say that I have moved on and do not linger in the past anymore. The both of you are history to me.
All I know now is that 2012 will be MY year again and neither of you, or anyone will interfere and corrupt that thought of mine. It’s been a long while since I’ve had a solid good time that lasts for a few weeks, let alone months. I have high hopes and expectations for next year.
2012, I’m looking forward in meeting you in 65 days time.
“We’re going to party like, it’s the end of the world.”